I'm well & truly back now, entrenched in my writer's cave for a few days and the old mojo is pumping, the words flying off my fingertips, and all is right in my world again. But I've got to be honest; for a moment there, just a brief snippet of time, I did wonder if I could write a decent sentence again in my life.
"Burn out" is probably what a shrink would say. Me, I think I started taking it all too seriously. I read somewhere once, that authors who set themselves a word count to achieve each day can sometimes fall into a trap of writing for the sake of writing. I didn't quite go that far, but I did forget my favourite saying, one you've no doubt heard me say before...
I write what feels right.
And I'm going to add to that and say: When it feels right, too.
I started writing because I had this amazing story inside my head that just wouldn't stop evolving and consuming my every thought every second of the day. For sanity's sake, and because I really needed to get
I was hooked. I was addicted. I was in heaven.
That was two & a half years ago and up until just before Christmas last year I can honestly say I never stopped having fun.
And then I hit a wall. Not exactly that proverbial writer's block wall, but one similar all the same. I still had story ideas. I still had plot arcs mapped out that boggled the mind. I still had character profiles that I absolutely loved. But I couldn't seem to express them the way I thought they should be.
So, I took a break, (at the insistence of my husband), and what do you know? When I sat down two weeks later, having spent the first week of my forced break worrying I'd lost my mojo, and the second not giving a flying fig, (I thank Lindauer Brut Cuvée for this), it was back. The first chapter I wrote was just as good, if not better, than those I'd written over the past two & a half years.
What did I learn? I'd started putting myself in impossible positions, setting targets that didn't feel right. I wasn't enjoying myself, writing for me (as well as my fans) but for some arbitrary line in the sand. Turning Nicola Claire into a business not a living. Or loving as the case may be.
Not a book, or heart, or vampire fangs, or loaded gun in sight. Just a kick-ass female, which I like to think could be any of my female characters, (or just me in one of my more adventurous dreams), kicking some serious butt.
Romance is at my heart, but I've always tended towards romantic suspense - capable females and alpha males, adventure, action, and a fast pace - be that paranormal or contemporary, sci-fi dystopian or urban fantasy in genre. Romance and suspense will always feature in my books. Hence the kick-butt chickie-babe on the cards. The anime style is just for me: love it!
And, you can be assured, all of it will be written from my soul; that happy place I go to when the words fly off my fingertips and my mind is whirring with possibilities and story arcs and character traits and sinfully, sexy trysts.
And all of it will be because I love them. Because I'm having fun. And because I'm not taking any of this too seriously. I'm doing it because it feels so damn right.